This fun, alternative hip hop number lampoons the current state of software development and cloud computing. As an engineer of 15 years, it's difficult to have a family and compete against these young kids that have no life other than work. More frustrating though is the current development practice of slam-it-out-quick cloud applications and fix it all later. Meanwhile these 20-something CEO's are often worth over $100 million for applications that are little more than betaware. Stepping down from my soapbox now... (Special thanks to Reilly, Stacia, Erik Holsinger, Marcia Parisi, and Pete Wenner for their vocal samples that made this so much fun. Dedicated to Aaron Levie, multi-millionaire CEO of Box.com)

Lyrics

Welcome folks, let me bend your ear
This story’s ‘bout an engineer
Been working here for quite some time
You wanna keep that job, you gotta toe the line

Early morning rise, no time to play
Gotta get to work, I got bills to pay
These new kids coming every day
Wanna take my job, wanna take my pay

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

No QA, just make it fast
But if you want my job, you gotta build to last
It’s cool to fail, that’s how you learn
Chaos theory baby, burn burn burn!

If you can’t hack the code and match my best
Drop out now, go cook crystal meth
These tech geeks come from near and far
That’s what we call White Collar Noir

Python, GitHub, nitrious.io
You RESTful JSON data ho
Box API and node.js
Your documentation’s a freakin’ mess

Metrics, rubriks, self-eval
Cloud integration, just kill me now
Cloud crazy cash just fills the air
$500k for betaware?

If email is out and social media is in, why am I getting more email than ever?

Bad demo, dog and pony show
Smoke and mirrors, this product blows
Adolescent CEOs
Nine figures rich, right up the nose

When the work gets old, gonna do you in
Glad to have that handy Ritalin
Work from home won’t offer hope
You can’t escape code punks high on dope!