How many cops does it take to issue a field sobriety test? It takes just one, plus three to watch and laugh.

.028 refers to blood alcohol level; in particular, MY blood alcohol level on that fateful night. Well below the legal limit, yet I was still run through the gauntlet of sobriety tests on the side of the highway while three fellow patrolmen stood nearby and laughed. It all happened very much like it's laid out in this grungy alt rocker. And yes, I did get the tube as a souvenir. (Backup vocals by Ceilidh Rose)

Lyrics

Driving home from a show in the City
I’m not very drunk but I’m not very pretty
Blaring my tunes, think everything is alright
‘Til red lights in the rearview say it’s not my night

“Where you going son? Where you been?“
Do you know where you are? I think you smell like gin
”He pulled me out of the car and made me stand in the street
He did his best to embarrass me

“Stand feet together, arms at your sides
Tilt your head back and close your eyes
Count to 30, now touch your nose
Now walk this line going heel to toe”

Walk the Line

Three more show up, couldn’t let it pass
Got me standing on one leg, hope I don’t fall on my ass
“So tell me sir, are you satisfied yet?”
“Not ‘til you recite the backward alphabet”

Z Y X W V U T S R Q P O N M L K J I H G F E D C B A

“Just one more test before I let you go,
Take this tube and give it a blow"
Test after test and making me wait
All this for a .028?

“Stand feet together, arms at your sides
Tilt your head back and close your eyes
Count to 30, now touch your nose
Now walk this line going heel to toe”

Must’ve been bored trying to DUI me
Then he let me go with no apology
Gave me that tube for a souvenir
Thank god that’s over, I could use a beer
Walk the Line